Tuesday, October 21, 2014

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Semen Found In Starbucks Beverages!



SEATTLE - reports says that the giant coffee selling company Starbucks has allegedly been including semen in their products since the last 3 months, after finding semen samples in the back of Starbucks stores.

Seems like human semen adds more flavor to the beverages on sale. Currently, the FDA is investigating the company as there are too many questions that needs answers.

As of now, the FDA is still trying to find out where the semen is coming from. It is not yet final if the semen is from humans or animals. And if it's from humans, is it infected by some sort of disease?
FDA inspector Jamison Fields said, "We can not believe this. This is disturbing! If I wanted to consume semen, I would just do gay pornography. Who would've known I was consuming semen through Starbucks?"

However, seems like some people thinks semen in their coffee is not exactly a bad thing. Based from Starbucks daily consumer Jackie Sultana's comment, "If they are using semen, then they should keep using it because it's so God D*mn good! I might just try semen alone to see if it's that good."

Starbucks is yet to declare a public apology, however, we are expecting it really soon. Some reports also say that the seasonal "Pumpkin Spice Latte" which is only sold at Starbucks during autumn, is not only loaded with semen, but bizarrely cockroaches as well.


The FDA is planning to shut down Starbucks production tomorrow across the nation while the investigation continues.

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